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Album Reviews : Whoretopsy – They Did Unspeakable Things

By on September 12, 2012

“He sniffs her for six minutes and ejaculates on the cold floor. Her pecks her on the cheecks.
“Thank you so much, sleepy head.” The stairs are wiped clean with his hankie.
Claude then screams, “Catherine has just collapsed!
Please help her!” No one suspects Claude and he gets away with it

Later that night, Claude shows his dog an anus in a porno mag
“See, Mr Shuffles, that is where you’ll find the musk is most concentrated”.”

Apologies if you were eating, but as you can plainly see, Whoretopsy aren’t for the squeamish. But then again, their name and the artwork probably suggested that already. As horrendous as they are, the lyrics to their debut full length They Did Unspeakable Things are oddly interesting; written more as short stories than actual lyrics, they hold your attention like those weird foreign films on SBS that just seem to be lots of tits with a loose storyline to fill in the gaps.

But even if they aren’t your cup of tea, just pretend they’re nothing more than grunts and growls. They Did Unspeakable Things is a whole lot of fun. Admittedly it’s one of those albums where you’ll probably forget which song is which, but that’s ok, because they’re all good anyway; three minute brutal death metal tracks splatted with huge slams and inhumanly guttural vocals. It’s a simple formula that can often be outright boring, but Whoretopsy pull it off. That’s thanks largely to the fact that they fit a whole lotta groove into every single song. You can dance to this.

Despite saying that, a handful of songs do stand out. Closing track “Human Error” unexpectedly (or expectedly, now that you’ve read this) brings some rather epic keyboards into the mix, and works spectacularly. The middle of “Bittersweet” is monstrous in the most horrifying way, and “DPI” has a nice hint of Vader to it in a much, much slammier fashion.

It’s also one of those cases of the ‘perfect dose’. The album is just shy of half an hour, and broken up by a few very short (and perhaps too few) dirty sound clips. It’s a quick, catchy trip down slam lane… or a filthy, dark alleyway, in which it’ll probably still involve something quick and “catchy”… 7.5/10


Band: Whoretopsy
Album: They Did Unspeakable Things
Year: 2012
Genre: Slam Death Metal
Label: Torture Music Records
Origin: Melbourne, Australia

Track list:
1. In Loving Memory
2. DPI
3. Voyeurism
4. Bittersweet
5. Cardiac Defecation
6. Necrobordello
7. Unspeakable
8. Intimate Digust
9. Potty Mouth
10. Human Error


Mitch Booth is the owner, designer and grand overlord of Metal Obsession. In the few seconds of spare time he has outside of this site, he also hosts a metal radio show over on PBS 106.7fm in Melbourne (Australia) and organises shows under the name Untitled Touring. You should follow him on Twitter.