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Interviews : Steel Panther – Top 3 tips on picking up women (An interview with Michael Starr)

By on January 18, 2012

Steel Panther – Michael Starr

Steel Panther are without a doubt one of the raddest bands today, continually proving why they get more women than you do. Their bitchin’ glam tunes with a sexual comedy hit shocked the music world in 2009 when they released their album Feel the Steel, and recently they did it again with their latest album Balls Out. As the band gets ready to head to Australia for their first time ever to play this years Soundwave Festival, lead singer Michael Starr talked to Metal Obsession about the new album, Soundwave 2012/cancellation of Soundwave Revolution, their plans on a name change and also some top advice on picking up women.

Michael Starr: Patrick, what is up?

Metal Obsession: Not a lot Michael, how’s it going mate?

Michael: Good man, I’m laying in bed, looking out my window on the Hollywood Hills, craving some pussy.

Metal Obsession: [laughs]. That’s awesome man. So you head to Australia for Soundwave Festival in less than two months. Are you excited?

Michael: Ah I am fuckin’ so excited to be coming to Australia that I can’t even tell you. I’m trying not to think about it so much because it’s like Christmas and I just… I don’t wanna keep thinking about it, because, I don’t want to keep thinking about it. It’s like, I’m excited, I wanna go rock Australia. I’ve never been there, so I just wanna go see it, I wanna rock it, I wanna fuckin’ feel it, smell it, touch it, taste it; I wanna do it all!

Metal Obsession: How did you feel when Soundwave Revolution was cancelled a couple of months ago?

Michael: It was a bummer! When we got the news, I mean I was like… Ah, I was so bummed, not only because we weren’t gonna be able to go to Australia, but we were so excited to share the stage with Van Halen, but at the same time it was kind of like a blessing from the sky for us. It gave us the extra time we needed to finish Balls Out, and everything just fell right into place, it worked out perfectly. So, as unfortunate as it was, it just happened and it’s all cool and I can’t wait to come out and play Soundwave 12.

Metal Obsession: Do you hope you’ll get the chance to someday share the stage with Van Halen?

Michael: Yeah, I’d sure like to. I’ll tell ya man, Van Halen is like, one of my favourite bands growing up as a kid, and David Lee Roth was the guy that I completely looked upto, and I wanted to be David Lee Roth.

Metal Obsession: People still call you the Chubby David Lee Roth though.

Michael: Oh yeah, but I like to consider myself a skinny version of Axl Rose. [laughs]

Metal Obsession: [laughs]. Your most recent album Balls Out was released 2 months ago in Australia (which I rated 11/10 in my review of it), how has the feedback from others been so far?

Michael: So far it’s just been amazing man, of course to say that everybody likes it that would be bullshit, reality is there’s just some people that don’t like Steel Panther. We could probably write Bohemian Rhapsody all over again and people probably wouldn’t like it, and there are people that just love us. That’s the cool thing about Steel Panther, you either hate us or you love us, and there’s no inbetween, so the response has been fuckin’ phenomenal, all the shows that we’re on have been selling out, and it’s just great. It’s a dream come true man.

Metal Obsession: Has it been received better by critics who didn’t like your last album, such as NME who rated Feel the Steel 3/10 stars?

Michael: That kind of shit happens all the time man. I mean, put it this way, those people that reviewed Feel the Steel had said stuff like “wow this record is good and there’s no way they could repeat it.” Then there are others that would say, y’know Balls Out came out and they’d say “Wow, this record is amazing, its way better than Feel the Steel.” But you can never please anybody 100%. So the only way you can judge your success in a rock ‘n roll band like Steel Panther is how many people are buying tickets to your live show. Because, I don’t know how many people are illegally downloading it, I have no idea. I mean there were 200 to 250 thousand copies of our records sold, but who knows how many people downloaded it illegally? So the only way we know how many people really like it, is how many people are sitting in front of us watching it.

Metal Obsession: You posted on a website that you were getting someone to sneak the new album into Tiger Woods’ locker while on PGA Tour so he could hear the track “Just Like Tiger Woods”. Did that actually happen, and if so, how did it turn out?

Michael: Nah, that didn’t happen unfortunately. I don’t even know if he’s heard it yet, I can’t tell you man, I know there’s a couple of people who are close to Steel Panther that Satchel and Stix know, that are close to his caddy, but I don’t know if the album has got to him. But I would have to say, judging by his actions, he’d fuckin’ love the song.

Metal Obsession: I reckon he would aswell.

Michael: Not only is it a good song, it’s a great song with a great story, and it’s about him, so I think he’d love it.

Metal Obsession: Tell me a bit about the bands you were in before Panther, such as the Van Halen cover band and your short time in the Tracii Guns era of LA Guns.

Michael: Ah yeah well, Satchel and I got in a fight, and I told him that I’d go and start my own cover band. He used to call me Chubby David Lee Roth and I was like “Y’know what? I’ll go start a Van Halen tribute band.” And I did, and then it got popular and then he got in the band, and then we decided “Fuck that, let’s do Steel Panther.” And that’s just the way it was. Same thing happened with LA Guns, I mean, Satchel and I, we’re like brothers. We fight, get mad, have to get away from each other, and then we always end up coming back, because we’re family. I think that’s what keeps Steel Panther together, there’s so many different personalities in the band that you never know what’s gonna happen.

Metal Obsession: You started off the band as Danger Kitty, and then changed the name to Metal Shop, then Metal Skool, then Steel Panther. What’s convinced the band to change the name all the time?

Michael: Well we’re thinking about changing it again.

Metal Obsession: Really?

Michael: Yeah, I mean, we like change y’know. It’s like when you’re fucking a chick, and you wanna fuck somebody different, it’s the same thing. But y’know, we just like, Danger Kitty was a cool name but somebody else had it, and then with the name Metal Shop we got sued by some company, and then we changed it to Metal Skool and somebody trademarked the name underneath us and took it, and then we became Steel Panther.

Metal Obsession: So what do you think you’ll change the name to if you’re actually going to change the name again?

Michael: Ah, we were thinking about changing it to Sweet Juicy Pussy. I mean, that’s a bitchin’ name because like, who doesn’t like juicy pussy? Or we were thinking about Sweet Cheetah.

Metal Obsession: Sweet Cheetah sounds good, only because it reminds me of the W.A.S.P. song, so that’d be pretty cool.

Michael: Right, I like that, it’s pretty cool.

Metal Obsession: Do you ever play cover songs or have guest appearances while you’re on tour, or do you only keep them for your weekly shows in LA while you’re off tour?

Michael: Ah, so far, I can’t remember. I think we’ve only had one or two guests on… Wait, no that’s not true, we don’t keep it to our weekly shows. The last guy that was super famous that came up on stage was an actor named Jeremy Renner; he got up with us in Canada and sang a couple of tunes with us. It happens a little more often at local shows, but if there’s anybody famous at our shows we’ll get them on stage. Except for one time, we played a show in Philadelphia I think? Yeah, I think it was Philly, and Kevin Bacon was there. We tried to get him to jam, but he didn’t wanna come up on stage.

Metal Obsession: I saw Steel Panther do a cover of the theme song for a board game commercial called Crossfire, with a guy named Freddie on YouTube. I’m not sure if I’m too young to have heard of the game before or if it’s just not an Australian game but, what is Crossfire?

Michael: I’m right there with you, I never known of the game before we did the cover, I missed it. And if it was out, I don’t think it was a very popular game. So honestly, I’ve never seen the game.

Metal Obsession: With a song category as hilarious as you’ve got, what songs do you enjoy playing the most?

Michael: Right now, I love playing the song off the new record called Weenie Ride. We’ve been on tour for the last 4 weeks, and it’s just killer. Stix comes out and plays it on piano, he recorded it on the record aswell, and we sang it, and y’know, it’s like we break it down, it’s got a bitchin’ solo in it, Lexxi sings the background vocals and it’s really cool. Right now it’s my favourite song to play.

Metal Obsession: Do you ever think there’ll be a day that Steel Panther will start writing more serious lyrics instead of the usual comedy lyrics?

Michael: Well, y’know that’s a really good question man, but I don’t know. I mean we really just love having fun, and we love putting a little humour in the tune aswell, and we also love to rock so, I wouldn’t say it’s a formula but it’s just what we like to do. And uh, I dunno, I mean, I don’t wanna say never, but I just don’t know what the future brings man, I just look at what’s in front of me right now. And right now I have to say we’re just gonna keep rockin’ the shit the way we’re already rockin’ it.

Metal Obsession: What are the top 3 tips you’d give to someone about picking up women?

Michael: Well, I’ll give you some quick tips.
Tip #1: Pick up our record Balls Out, and lets say you’re on a date and you wonder if the chick is gonna put out. After dinner, you get in your car and you put in the Balls Out CD, and if she listens to the whole thing, she’ll suck your dick afterwards. That’s a guarantee. Because if a girl can sit through Weenie Ride, you know she’s great and she likes to fuck. [laughs]
Tip #2:
Grow your hair out and start wearing some spandex, some cowboy boots and some bracelets that are pretty cool, as well as a cut up t-shirt. Also shower, shower a lot, chicks dig guys that are clean, and you’ll definitely get way more pussy if you’re clean.
Tip #3: Lower your standards. And that will eliminate all of your problems right there, you’ll get laid every night.

Metal Obsession: I’m going to give you three names, and you have to tell me what one you’d fuck, what one you’d kill and what one you’d marry.

Michael: Alright man.

Metal Obsession: Brittany Spears, Pamela Anderson and Lindsay Lohan…

Michael: Oh, Lindsay Lohan I’d definitely fuck. Uh, Brittany Spears I would kill, and who was the other one?

Metal Obsession: Pamela Anderson.

Michael: Oh god, I’d marry her!

Metal Obsession: [laughs]. If you could be any 80s band, who would you be and why?

Michael: I’d probably pick Van Halen dude.

Metal Obsession: How come?

Michael: What, do you mean be in it now, or back in the day?

Metal Obsession: Back in the day, like, actually be the band.

Michael: Oh yeah, it’d be Van Halen for sure, because Van Halen was like, the beginning of heavy metal.

Metal Obsession: Where do you think metal will be in 20 years?

Michael: At the Staples Center (Los Angeles) with Steel Panther.

Metal Obsession: You still think Steel Panther would be around by then?

Michael: Oh yeah, absolutely man! Yeah, hell yeah! We’re like cockroaches man, we don’t go away.

Metal Obsession: Awesome! Any famous last words before this interview ends?

Michael: Yeah, don’t smoke cocaine, only snort it. [laughs]

Metal Obsession: [laughs]. Thanks so much for the chat dude, I’ll see you at Soundwave Melbourne!

Michael: Alright buddy, have a good night, or good day.

Metal Obsession: Good day for me, but have a good night!

Michael: Alright then, see ya Patrick!

 

Check out Steel Panther at Soundwave Festival and sideshows!

SOUNDWAVE FESTIVAL VENUES AND DATES FOR 2012

BRISBANE: 25TH FEBRUARY – SOUNDWAVE FESTIVAL @ RNA SHOWGROUNDS / SOLD OUT

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=246313265416952

SYDNEY: 26TH FEBRUARY – SOUNDWAVE FESTIVAL @ OLYMPIC PARK / SOLD OUT
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=233867790003182

SYDNEY: 28TH FEBRUARY – ENMORE THEATRE – LIC A/A
MELBOURNE: 29TH FEBRUARY – THE PALACE – 18+ / SOLD OUT
http://www.facebook.com/events/113187262128913/

MELBOURNE: 2ND MARCH – SOUNDWAVE FESTIVAL @ MELB SHOWGROUNDS / SOLD OUT
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=243654682348739

ADELAIDE: 3RD MARCH – SOUNDWAVE FESTIVAL @ BONYTHON PARK
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=279093168779036

PERTH: 5TH MARCH – SOUNDWAVE FESTIVAL @ CLAREMONT SHOWGROUNDS
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=282403391778781

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Patrick has been a dedicated contributor to Metal Obsession since 2011. He believes that you can put Lars Ulrich's face on just about anything. Add Patrick on Facebook.